Fuck Yeah Peter Serafinowicz

At CERN today they confirmed the existence of Hogg’s Bison.

There’s a particle in my pants. #CERN

I’m sure CERN has something to do with all these floating penises.

I can’t believe they’ve already made Clash of the Tightanuses.

When Sigmund’s mirror broke, Jung took pleasure in seeing a shard in Freud

This tuna used to be dolphin-friendly :(

There are two parties in my pants! Well, ‘balls’.

There’s a panty in my parts!

There’s a part in my panties

If I was Bill Gates I’d log in to Amazon and say “I’ll take everything.” “Would you like to group these items into a single delivery?” “No.”

Google’s new button: ‘I’m Feeling Yucky’

I think they start baby vampires out on jam.

Does snot come in ‘sparkling’ as well as ‘still’? Cuz that’s what seems to be in my brain today

The paper’s very unwieldy now they have all the YouTube listings

Sting got his nickname because he is full of poison.

What WERE the crimes of the Fun Lovin’ Criminals? My guess is they were of a grisly sexual nature.

Enjoying this new show about minor injuries, Graze Anatomy.

Finally got round to reading the Stephen Hawking book. It’s about time.

What did you do during Earth Hour? #psqa /via @abbiedays - I ate nothing but soil.

is there such a thing as a gropefruit? #psqa /via @danbranch - Yes, it’s like a less intense rapefruit.

what do you think of Chatroulette? #psqa /via @JonasPolsky - I’m working on a system.  

 How do bees make honey? #psqa /via @Deliriousity - They masturbate :/

what gets red wine out?#psqa /via @sunflick - An alcoholic.

Do unicorns eat corn? #psqa /via @JanLakatos - Yes, unique corn.

Got one of those colds where my skeleton feels radioactive.  

This cold has turned me into little more than a snot-corpse.

God I hate Facebook. It’s like having a really shit part-time job.

Can anyone tell me what Lucasfilm’s sound system is called? Thx

OK Bang&Olufsen etc. expensive but why all the fuss about audiophiles in the church?

It’s waaaaaay too fucking early to be up.

So, the reason I’ve been kinda MIA with postings this week is because I’m going to a conference (a nerdy one, yes, but not the cool nerdy kind where people wear costumes, just casual business attire) and I had to prepare for the presentation/study for a test and quiz all weekend ‘til now. So, um, long story short, I’ll be at a conference ‘til Sunday, and I’ll have practically no internet access, soooo… I won’t be posting a lot/at all.

So, have a good week & weekend, and I’ll catch you cats on Sunday evening providing my plane doesn’t crash!

Also, many thanks to new followers dirtybluegene, fringeelements, and elatedmangojam!

serafinowicz:

The Tom Jones song ‘Sex Bomb’ commemorates a real, disgusting event.

Hunchback Mountain

These days when a racehorse breaks its leg, they use a Pony Slaystation :(  

I love dithering so much I sometimes get an either/orgasm

@jabrueck: #psqa which blood type is your favorite? - Red.

@phillisdorris: Whats the worst thing you’ve ever had inside you? #psqa - The Thing

@leducviolet: which was the sexiest of the 7 dwarves? #psqa Probably Spermy.

@johnny_thompson: What is a leper’s favourite type of food? #psqa Pizza - Leperoni!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@marcusbrig: #psqa What’s the best way to peel fruit? - Internally.

@SophiaCrichton: #psqa Why does stuff from poundland always break? - Because the staff repeatedly pound the items  

 #psqa How much is enough? /via @FilthyLurker Enough is enough.

On which side do you dress? #psqa /via @AndyWarehol The outside.

Why do onions make you cry? #psqa /via @G_Parmar - Because they are masters of emotional blackmail  

#psqa what do you get if you cross a fish with a donkey? /via @keefus - your veterinary license revoked.

why is my job so boring? #psqa /via @macgillivray514 - Because you are a drill operator.

What’s your street name? #psqa /via @gortmaker - Serafinowicz Street

What is green and invisible? /via @poggs The Invisible Hulk

Revenge is a dish? /via @dawnykitten Revenge is a dish best smashed over someone’s head.